“Hey what’s up guys! I’m “Marley Bo” (my pops spells it Beaux). You can call me M-Bo, Bo Dog or Big Mar for short. I don’t care what you call me, as long as you call me, cuz I love to hang with my dawgs ya’ll! I’m tha show-stoppa, the entertaina, the coolest dog in the hood yo! So get used to it, cuz I ain’t goin’ nowhere.
Ok, so I’m not a gangsta dog, but I am large and in charge. (Quick joke: What’s black, white and cool all over? Me! Bahaha.) I’m a Great Dane – a Mantel they say. I’m all bark, no bite. I freak people out with my size, but I kill them with kindness. People warm up to me pretty quick. Give me 60 seconds and I’ll own you. You just watch! I got serious human-control skillz.
So, I hear you want the poopy-scoop. Here it is. I recently got new parents. My mama’s name is Bonnie and my pop’s name is Steve. They adopted me when I was 10 months old. It was love at first lick. They seemed like pretty cool folks. It will take a while to train them, but they are catching on quick. They are already full grown and very healthy and fit. They are in the fitness biz and own a gym (which I think is cool ’cause they will need to be fit to handle me. Just saying!). They’ve even taken me there to meet their friends. Everyone loves me (duh!). Have you seen my face? What’s not to love?
I love having fit folks ’cause I like to play. Dad wrestles with me, but I totally dominate. I almost always get him in a full mount right away (and he thinks he knows MMA!). I’ll pull some UFC stuff on him so fast, he won’t even know what’s comin’. I know how to use my weight to bring someone down, and keep them down. I bet a chiwawa can’t do that!
I’m a big guy, I’m already 130lbs (and already taller than mom and dad when I stand up). The doctor says I might weigh as much as 160-180lbs when I grow up. I hope I can be that big, so I can be big and strong like my pops. He does bodybuilding. I’d like to do that one day, but they don’t have a dog class yet. Maybe someday. But hey, don’t let my size full ya. I’m a big teddy bear. I like hugs and love like the next guy.
Mom and I spend the most time together. She hangs out with me a lot and takes me to school. She calls it doggie boot camp. I learn cool tricks and play on their obstacle course. The truth is, they are really training her and not me, but don’t tell her that. They even have a pond there where I can swim with my friends. She lets me swim with my friends after class sometimes. My friends like my car. They think it’s cool. I have a big truck too, but I like the convertible. It’s a little small for me, but she takes the top down so I have more head room. I know I’m lucky. Many of my friends don’t get out that much, but hopefully mom’s blog will inspire people to stay more active.
Ok enough about them, let’s get back to me. I am the coolest dog I know. People’s heads turn, and jaws drop with amazement of just how awesome I am. I am not really sure what makes me so great, but I’m planning on milking this for all it’s worth. I guess the TV commercials are right – bigger IS better. People want more – and I’m definitely more dog than most. So, it’s my mission to get pet by as many humans as possible (and I’m totally succeeding by the way). They think it’s cool when I act like them, like when I sit on the couch like humans do. They always get a kick out of that. They think I’m entertaining them, but you should see their facial expressions when I do stuff like get ice out of the refrigerator. The look on their faces is priceless.
I do workout a little, but I really like to just chill at the crib. I like to sit on people’s lap (DANE TIP: this keeps them from getting up. The longer they sit with you, the more petting you get. FYI). I lean, I love and I cuddle. I have my mom wrapped around my big ole paws. I pretend she’s in control when I’m on a leash, but trust me, I could take her for a walk anytime I wanted. I get along with others (other dogs love me). I have a gnarly bark that scares the snot out of some humans (which I think is aaawesome). I have big droopy puppy dog eyes (they are my secret weapon to get anything I want). I’m a good ole country boy. I like the outdoors – and I love the water even more. I like to hunt, fish, swim and play in the mud. The wetter and messier the better. I ain’t scared to get dirty.
I am very popular on facebook and Instagram. At first the pictures were annoying, but I’m patient with my mama (and I get tons of likes when mom posts them). I ham it up for the camera and really put on a show. I should really start charging a talent fee. It can be work sometimes, but it’s a pretty cool job. I guess I’m pretty famous where I’m from. If there were doggie tabloids, I’m pretty sure I’d be on all the covers. All and all, I’d have to say I’m a pretty cool dude.
The bad news is, Danes don’t live very long. They call us the Heart Break Breed. I try not to think about it. The good news is my parents have a really good track record. Thier last boy (Tank) lived to be 12, so I’m hoping they take care of me like the took care of Tank so I can live that long too.
I hear he was pretty cool too and very popular. He even had a myspace back before Instagram. He had more friends than most humans. He’s kinda my role model.
So POW! That’s ME! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Now I need a nap!”